Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
