listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
