I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
