my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
