Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Randomize
