She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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