Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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