me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
