I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
