I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
