Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
