Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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