Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
