They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
