there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We need to get me chipped asap
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
