Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
