I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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