I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
