SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
