i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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