Someone shit on the floor
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
