he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
