What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
