Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
