I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
