I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
