My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
