no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
