I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
