Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
