im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
