I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
