just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
