Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
