just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
