the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
