we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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