even my farts smell like vagina
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
