I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
