He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
