:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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