went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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