ya dads aren't the best wingmen
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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