Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
