hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
