He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
