just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
