Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
