I cockslap morals
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
