Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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