I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
