Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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