Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
